I have been in two serious relationships involving commitment and one relationship that was more of a summer fling.

So my first relationship started my senior year of high school. I was the girl who was not allowed to date until I was 16. The guy I was with was a transfer student from up north. We hit it off and it was history. We had many ups and downs dealing with transitioning to living 8 months out of the year in a dorm room to dealing with distrust. Soon enough after being picked over money, I made the decision to call it off after 4 years. We were not growing and I was nearing the end of my undergraduate career.

My second serious relationship stemmed from the first. It was with someone I knew since middle school. It was easy for us to hit it off due to a being friends. Eventually it turned into us living with one another. To be honest, it was a test. A test I did not learn to accept or appreciate until months later.

The fling was fun. It showed me that I needed to enjoy being young and enjoy being spontaneous.  We are actually good friends now, which is weird.

Why the background information? Let’s refer to the statement from thegoodquote Instagram post. “Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness”

I am a strong advocate for doing things that make you uncomfortable to better yourself. I feel as if it prepares one for what life throws, whether you are single or in a relationship. Things as taking your self to dinner, actually sitting down in a restaurant, going to the movies, traveling, museums, shows, concerts and even nightlife. The list can go on, but it is strange and uncomfortable to walk into a club, not knowing a single should. The first time I did it I was super uncomfortable, yet I had so much fun.

Doing activities solo, helps you become independent and not so dependent on friends, family, or a significant other. It aids in relationships when that one weekend your guy or your girl wants to do a weekend away with friends.

During undergrad, I did a few things myself: walking to the nearest shopping center, going to dinner, venturing downtown and even taking a bus ride around the city. It was not until my last relationship I actually learned how to be alone.

Learning to be alone has to be one of the best things I could have done for myself in order to grow. It has allowed me to learn more independences, overcome anxiety, and even learn to have fun.

So if you haven’t tried it, take my word and do it. It can make you a better person and help  contribute to the success of your future relationships and current relationships.


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